"For some moments in life there are no words." -Willy Wonka (the original)

Sometimes just driving over the mountain back down into the valley isn't enough.  Sometimes a distant lightening storm and Guy Clark tunes make it better.  Driving into a visible storm with no rain or thunder left me speechless, however, thinking.  Silence and stillness are powerful things.  In the truck with Matt by my side and not a word spoken from him or nature, just a show.  A show of the road moving beneath me as Matt is driving.  A show of Mother Nature making the sky dance in a deep purple.  It makes one silently reflect on life.  Thinking of how just being calm before the storm seems to make it more endurable.  And of course, a storm can be anything, symbolically speaking.  It was a moment that could never be defined.  Not enough words or phrases or descriptions could make you feel this moment the way I felt it, unless you were there perhaps.  Its a shared emotion, its human nature, something that is not taught but felt.  But to have peace from such moments, one must regard the feeling is there at all.  Feel the moment.  Take it in.

I've experienced many moments in my life that have left me speechless.  Some good, some bad.  Sometimes I can only remember the bad ones, I guess they had more of an impact.  However, the good leave-me-speechless moments I do remember, are some that should go in the record books.  And this ugly realization of only being able to remember the negative moments, has forced me to write the good ones down, along with the bad.  To me, its kind of like leaving a piece of my mind for the future to read.  And reflect on the beauty of all things...good or bad.

Being a child of divorce and being away from your mother for so long (2 months) you begin to have night terrors, losing a baby brother, losing a close friend as a teen, losing a intimately close friend as an adult.  I've been speechless pretty much all my life with just the bad.  But as the saying goes "the good outweighs the bad".  And in most cases this holds true.  Being at 5,000 ft elevation with mountains touching the sky, having a song written for you, about you and played privately for you,  that song later being played in front of 3,000 people, lightening storms coming across the mountain, the nice things strangers say to you, the beautiful way children think, overcoming personal obstacles and reaching personal goals...many more speechless moments tipping the scale to the good side.  But without the bad, one wouldn't be able to appreciate the good.  Another saying..."take the good with the bad".

Recently, I took on an "around-the-house" art project that involved cutting out words from newspapers and magazines.  And not just any words, but words that evoked emotion.  Mindlessly reading headlines is second nature to some, but when you take the literal meaning of each individual word, it takes on a whole other meaning than what the words portray when read all together.  Again, in this art project, was another moment where I stopped to reflect and asked the question, "If something this simple became so profound, wonder what else we're missing because we don't slow down?" 

and i walked into the woods...

April 13/14, 2011

Mt. Rogers, Va

Mt. Rogers Trail/Appalachian Trail

It was a spur of the moment camping trip and I was very ill prepared.  I didn't realize what I had gotten myself into at the time, I was just happy to get away and be one with the wilderness.  My excursion started with packing a light bag consisting of a couple hoodies, an Appy State t-shirt, extra undies, some running clothes, tennis shoes, socks, a towel, 2 blankets, and some bathroom necessities and 3 PB&Js.  Lacking on food, drink, actual hiking shoes and soap.  I actually had to use my lotion as soap!  Thankfully for my cohort I wasn't completely starved of thirst!!

 

We met somewhere in Abingdon and made off into the wilderness.  After aimlessly driving around the mountain for a good 45 minutes, we finally settled on Grindstone Campground.  We pay our dues, find a spot the furthest away from the staff's lot and set up for the evening at lot #77.  We quickly discover the nearest shower house was locked, and we had no electricity to blow up the air mattress.  After the tent was set up we take a short nature walk through the campground, with a happy dog in hand.  Thankfully, we find another shower house that was unlocked, warm and functioning.  We make the trek back to the campsite to eat the hotdogs and smores we managed to purchase and relax with a few beers.  Much to our dismay we could never get a decent fire started; wood was a little wet I suppose.  We did, however, have just enough flame to cook a few hotdogs and melt some marshmallows.  Around 9:00 the chill started to set in and there wasn't much to do, no cards or books or board games, just us and nature.  So we decided to go to bed hoping body heat and a flashlight will be alittle better than the measly fire.  We quickly realize how uncomfortable and cold and long the night was going to be and after many hours of tossing and turning and rearranging, we gave up on nature.  The next morning around 8:30, the car got started, the heat came on and I found myself waking a couple hours later sitting straight up in a warm vehicle.  My first thought was 'I need a shower.'  I was ready just to start the day's adventures.  After a few disgruntled comments, cleaning and packing, we were off to the shower house for a semi warm shower, clean teeth, and clean clothes, I was ready to embrace the day.

It started with another short drive to find parking and checking out the map to see where our journey should start.  We decided on Mt. Rogers Trail leading in the AT.   We signed the Trail Registry and crossed a man-made plank bridge 'and i walked into the woods.'  After about 30 minutes all uphill this smoker was feeling it!  But I toughed it out and once it was somewhat level we paused, enjoyed the scenery and finished what was left of one of very few drinks.  My feet were already starting to hurt some seeing that I didn't have the proper footwear for the woods.  But I did not complain because it was my fault and complaining doesn't help anything, especially in the wilderness.  I was simply thankful for what I did have.  We continue the hike and occasionally I look up and realize I spent at least a mile in the woods looking down.  I found myself imaging buildings placed here and there throughout the woods.  The first was a red covered bridge.  And when I say 'imagined', I mean I literally thought they were there.  I found myself looking in the direction I imagined it and of course nothing is there.  When I do look up though, the scenery is breathtaking and I begin to realize why so many take the trek each year to live on the Trail and how the woods change you.  I also imagine an old spring building somewhere near the creek and an old farm house caved in on itself off into the distant forest, and again of course, nothing is there.  Tradition is you give yourself or a trail friend gives you a trail name.  This is where I came up with "Thinking Feet."  Little did I know at the time how perfect this name would be for me.  Its difficult, however, not to look down considering most of Mt. Rogers Trail is an old or still functioning creek bed, so the terrain is a little rocky and I must watch my step!  But to no avail, I still smack my face on a tree!  Leaving a pretty good mark but not much pain, again I still toughed it out.  Walking a small portion of the AT was a personal goal for myself and I was not going to miss the opportunity by whining over a scrapped face.  Then just around the bend my spirits were instantly lifted when I saw that white blaze marking on a tree and sign with "AT -->" etched into the wood.

I was thrilled to see that white blaze and anxious to see what was ahead of me.  We had already stopped for lunch and finished off the PB&Js and some chips, a second or third drink and a good rest, so I was newly re-energized and ready to face the unknown.  Now normally, I would have reservations and be guarded and maybe before not have gone at all.  But at 25 years of age, I'm tired of letting my fears hold me back.  So I walk into the wilderness.  Instantly the terrain becomes more difficult with natural staircases, each step a least a foot tall, curves and smaller paths.  It was mind consuming, because, not only was I so focused on the path ahead, but my mind begins to wander naturally, and suddenly I'm thinking about everything I never think about and everything I always think about in 10 fold.  Just as I began to settle on the new trail we decided to go off the beaten path to check out the wild pony field in hopes to see some.  To our disappointment, no wild ponies were spotted.  The field, however, had its own beauty.  Wide open space where the mountains meet the sky.  I'd never seen anything like it.  I just wanted to lay down and let the breeze carry my spirit.  I scaled a large boulder in the center of the field and took in the scenery for a moment before we continued our hike.

I said out loud, "I wish Allun was here to sing 'Wild Horses' to us."  After a few moments of reflecting and taking in the view we decide we would end our hike here and start heading back to the car.